Sunday, October 25, 2009

A Long 8 Months Could Get Even Longer

Eight months seems like a really long time. At this rate, eight months could easily turn into 12, 14 or even 16 months. We started bedtime routine from the beginning. Everyone knows how it works. Pajamas, medicine, teeth, bed. Daddy always does the tucking. Mommy says the good nights, but it's Daddy time that ends the night. The kids just love it. Up until 8 months ago. That's when it started. Samoosa had been perfectly fine going to bed and sleeping through the night. Now, not so much. She cries, screams, beats on the door, sobs and most often falls asleep on the floor next to the door. It is just awful. I often want to cry with her. It can last up to an hour. In recent days, it has gotten down to a meager 15 minutes with a rare one-hour night thrown in there.

I am torn between sad and mad at the whole thing for one reason. She stops crying as soon as she sees the hall light come on to announce my arrival and begins crying again when I even think about leaving the room. The days of us actually going up to her ended months ago and that is why these months seem so long. There is nothing left to do. Many remedies have been sought and tried and even tried again to no avail. This is one of those parenting moments when you know you are doing the right thing and yet it is so hard.

I know we cannot allow her to control the situation - she is only two, imagine what her controlling methods will look like when she is 12. I know that if she knows she can get her way now, the pattern will continue. It will be all about her. We also cannot allow her to do what we call 'hijacking the family.' We have a routine for a reason. Late evenings are for the parents. We have adult conversations without interruptions. We enjoy each other's company. For just that time, we do not have to read books, throw balls, get drinks, find baby dolls, etc. We focus on us. Going up to Samoosa's room to meet her needs takes away from our time and hijacks the family plan.

We have chosen to protect husband/wife time and help her understand that she is not in control. The pull on my 'motherly, oh just go hold her' emotions is strong and yet we have had to choose to let her cry it out. It is so hard. I pray I do not have to hear her sobbing 'Daddy's baby' from behind that door for even one more night.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that girl has staying power! I know that her tencacious nature, when harnessed by discipline, will one day be a tremendous personal assest. Hang in there, you're doing a great job!


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