Creativity Required

The fourth one broke the mold. Our oldest three kiddos have made life so much more pleasurable by being similar in regards to their desire to be at the dentist and actually enjoy going. The fourth one, not so much. Here's how this works.....five Linos pull up to the dentist office in our minivan stocked with a plethora of kid movies and a DVD player. I run in to get paperwork and make payments and then we get the selected movie going in the van. One by one, the oldest three take turns going into the office by themselves and have their teeth counted, cleaned, x-rayed and routinely examined. The 8, 6, and 4 year olds climb right up into the chair, don fancy shades and open wide. I sit in the van with the other three waiting for the dear hygienist to come out and give me the 'all-clear, see you in 6 months' talk. It's fabulous. We love our dentist. He has been working on Lino teeth since the 1980s.

The only problem arises when the last little Lino has to go inside the office....for any reason. The restroom, to check on paperwork, to see what's happening with sister. String Bean freaks out just upon entering the building. I know what the problem is....sound. She is very sensitive to sounds. Fans in restrooms, trucks starting up, toilets flushing, air conditioners turning on, hissing pots and pans on the stove. Many things that don't faze a lot of people. So, all of the unusual sounds in a dentist office just about send her over the edge. I have yet to even get her in an exam chair - in my lap. She just covers her ears and cries.

The 'I have four kids and don't have time for this' side of me says just make her sit and get it done. The 'nurturing, help me help her' side of me says I need some creative mommies to help me find a solution to get her in that chair willingly. So, if you have any ideas that can help me get my String Bean into that chair, please share. Has anyone tried special headphones?

Reminder of Differences

Girly Girl ready for day 3 of school

I was reminded again this week about the vast difference between girls and boys. It came in the form of our 6 year old girl and 7 year old boy. They started school this week and our start to the school year is a little different. Both Toads and Girly Girl are in a Spanish Immersion Program at their school and there is only one class of it offered at this school. When you commit to the program, you are committed for 1st through 5th grade. This means there are not the usual first day of school surprises....there is only one teacher, so you know who you have; the same kids are in your class each year, no new faces; and for us, your older brother is only a year ahead of you - same year, different child.

And the differences are immense in only the first few days. Toads had a wonderful year last year in Sra. Rudd's class and we could not have been more pleased with our experience. I had no idea what we had missed until the bigs got in the van on Monday. I did the usual 'how was it?' and Girly Girl could not get her words out fast enough. She gave me a minute by minute, blow by blow detail of every last bit of her day. She described her classroom and all that Sra. Rudd did in elaborate, storied details. She went on and on with such excitement that we were a little fatigued when she finished. Toads turned only resulted in a "I don't remember." That's not uncommon for him. He just doesn't have endless amounts of enthusiasm for recounting to his mother the intimate details of his life. He keeps it all to himself unless I pry some of it out of him. I remember thinking in the van how nice it would have been if Girly Girl was the older one so that I would know what all is happening in his classroom. I obviously did not have a clue about what was happening last year.

These two are a perfect example of how unique and different each one of us are - especially the male/female comparison. Our girl is all girl and our boy is all boy. They communicate differently, they respond to stress differently, they require different interaction with me. They are just wired very differently. God created them both with unique personalities and I am slowly learning to effectively navigate the parenting waters with a boy and not just this cute one, but three little girls. The little two talk just as much and with almost more dramatic flair than Girly Girl. Toads won't have to worry long about having to answer my questions as the girls fill in all of the air time. They are all four such a joy to parent.

First Day Without Kindergarten

August 22, 2011

After two years in a row of dropping off a kindergartner the first day of school, it was a little different this year. First grade and second grade. Old hat. No big hugs. No help finding your name. No problem. We took Toads to his class first and then settled Girly Girl into her class which is Toads' class and teacher from last year. Their classrooms are right across the hall from one another, so they will be in view/ear shot of each other almost all the time. Toads probably could have done without the parental escort but Girly Girl was still a little interested in having us there. They have each other and for now, big brother is not too troubled by little sister being around all the time. I can already tell that they won't want us around much longer. They are confident, independent little Linos. I wouldn't have it any other way. I did manage to get a few pictures before they dismissed me.

1st grade and 2nd grade

Pine Forest Elementary - Sra. Fabela's class

Pine Forest Elementary - Sra. Rudd's class

How We Made the Big Transition

This past Sunday, Nathan and I had the opportunity to see some sweet little NEHBC faces and talk to them and their parents about joining the NEHBC family in worship on Sunday mornings. It was so fun to see the new 4 year olds with wides eyes about what was happening and the looks on the parents’ faces too. Transitioning to big church can be very challenging for some families. It was for ours. It is also one of the most important things a family can do for the spiritual development of the children.

Nathan is long gone to prepare his heart and mind to preach by the time I wake up and start getting the Four Little Linos ready for worship each Sunday morning, so I have experienced this three times practically on my own. Toads, Girly Girl and Samoosa all transitioned to big church right at their 3^rd birthdays. If I could visit with each family like we did in the group setting this past Sunday, this is what I would tell them about my experience…………..

The motto is “train and model.” Training and modeling requires sacrifice. In order to train and model worship of the living God to my child, I must be willing to put their spiritual well-being before my own. For a season, I will not hear every word of the sermon. I will not have any idea that we prayed for a particular people group in worship. I will miss the report of life change on a mission trip. I will not have all of my needs met in worship. The thing is, it’s not my needs that are important. Worship is not for me. It is not my break from my children. Worship is what I give the the King of Kings and what I am giving to Him right now, in this season of my life, is my children. My sacrifice of training and modeling is actually what He expects of me in my role as parent of the children He has entrusted to me.

So what does training and modeling look like? The idea is to let them see you worship and train them to do it for themselves. As a family, it requires a team approach. It requires planning ahead and being consistent. The attitude that Mom and Dad have about worship is what they will pass on to all the kids. Mom and Dad need to actively participate and communicate with each other. Let each other know how you think it’s going, what’s working, what’s not. Be excited about worship and talk positively about being with believers to worship your God. Get everyone on the same page and worship together as a family.

Lino training and modeling goes on all during the week. We have expectations for our children during that one hour of worship and we have explained what the consequences are for not meeting them. Some of ours are: not distracting others, not leaving the worship center to go to the bathroom, not fighting with siblings, standing and sitting at appropriate times, and so on. I always remind them of these expectations in the van on the way to church. There are no surprises or excuses. We talk about worship throughout the week and begin our ‘Sunday routine’ on Saturday. My goal is to do whatever it takes ahead of time to get us in our seats in worship with open, happy hearts and leave with happy hearts that have worshiped God in a way He wants to be worshiped.

To meet my goal of happy hearts before and after worship, these are some things I do:

·         Set out church clothes for everyone on Saturday night, even mine

·         Give ‘church baths’ to kids on Saturday night

·         Play worship music while getting ready on Sunday

·         Serve the same breakfast every Sunday (no time for discussing or disagreeing with the ever-changing requests)

·         Decide which service is best for your family – for us, it is easiest to arrive at the NEHBC campus and go straight to worship so that I don’t make us late by getting sidetracked in the hall talking or rounding up three children from different classrooms

·         Everyone goes to the restroom before finding seats in the worship center

·         Find a seat with a good view for children to see and know what is happening on the stage

·         Have a seating arrangement for the children that gives them the best opportunity for meeting the expectations and experiencing worship – for us, this means that the lefty of the bunch needs to sit to my left and all others on the right so that they don’t get in a fight when she continually elbows them with her writing hand; two personalities need to be split up because they talk a lot.

·         Decide ahead of time a plan for exiting the service if necessary – for what? Ours fall into two categories: defiant disobedience and major distractions

·         Everyone follows instructions of the worship leader and pastor – sit, stand, bow to pray, kneel when appropriate

·         Have a plan for the sermon time…..’big church bags’

o   The bag is only to be used during the sermon. Not at any other time during the service or at home. It is a special bag.

o   The child is responsible for the bag – it’s what they bring to worship like you bring your Bible. Have them carry it, pack it, take good care of it.

o   Using the bag on the floor is ok for little guys - they are probably lost and their hearts are not inclined to sit and listen attentively.

o   Put all kinds of nice, quiet age appropriate toys/activities in it – coloring books, pipe cleaners, stickers, sketch pads, washable markers to keep clothes nice, kleenex are a must. Make sure the activities are things they can do on their own and don’t require an explanation or help from Mom and Dad.

o   Change out the contents regularly.

o   Ensure that the bag is not being repacked during the response time but that children are participating in the response time and not being a distraction to others that are responding to the Lord.

o   As children get older, expectations change for the sermon time – not on the floor, take notes, etc.

·         Let children participate when appropriate – help pass offering bag, open Bible, pray at the altar with you, etc.

·         Whisper instructions or explanations during teachable moments of the service – Lord’s supper, point out instrumentalists, explain looking for references in Bible

Despite my best efforts, worship does not always go like I dream it will. That’s ok. Having perfectly obedient children is not the goal. They do make noises and distract others. We do have to exit on occasion. I am not locked in on those dreams. The hope and dream of having four little Linos that love the Lord their God and worship Him with all of the hearts is the one I’m working towards. My sacrifice, planning, praying, training and modeling is so worth it. Being the one to teach my child to worship their Creator is an awesome privilege. Parent, enjoy the opportunity you have been given and be faithful to your calling as parent of that precious child.

A Glimpse of the Future

My husband has the future all planned.....on the beach. I am not fully convinced yet since I really like to be in the snow, but two weeks on the beach was pretty amazing. The Six Linos made the trek over to Navarre Beach, Florida for the last two weeks of July. Just the six of us. A condo on the beach. Sun, sand and tons of fun. After thinking about it some, I think this was one of the best things we have done for our family. We had originally planned a one week vacation for just the two of us and then a shorter family vacation.

Six Lino crocodiles

After some debate, we decided on a full two weeks for all six of us. I knew going in that it was not going to be weeks of sleeping in and reading on the beach. I was still going to be in mommy mode and wiping noses. I was in mommy mode the whole time and it was fabulous. We did not have the routine of work and responsibilities that often call Nathan away. Our time was uninterrupted by phone calls, house maintenance, responding to mail and just the normal demands of life. The stage of life that our

kids are in (2, 3, 5, and 7) made this so important because of the relationship building that came so easily on long walks or over sno cones. The benefit of the undivided attention that the kids got from us in this two weeks will last long into the future. We had two weeks of togetherness that is something I think we will all remember fondly.

Sno Cones at Tommy's

Stepping Up the Organization

4 kids + 4 boxes = peaceful road trip

I have taken my plan-ahead, be organized strategy to a new level thanks to another mom-of-four friend. If you have kids, then you know that a road trip can be exhausting. There are obvious reasons, but most moms spend the majority of the trip passing things back, refilling snack cups and navigating the 'I don't want this kind' waters. Usually, I have a large snack bag in the front of the van with a wide selection of snacks, napkins, etc. This time around, we are trying a new strategy. Each child has a box (the ziploc/tupperware variety) that will fit nicely under their seat that is filled with snacks that are prepackaged or in baggies. When it is snack time, they can pull out their box and choose a snack.

I see many advantages to this plan. Everyone has a choice and complaining is kept to a minimum. . If you eat your oreos at the first break, then you can't complain that you only have crackers later when someone else is eating their oreos. You also can't complain that you don't like something.........you picked it out and packed the box with the flavors you like and colors you prefer. The box also includes napkins for quick clean ups. I think peanut butter and jelly sandwiches would be a great addition for the future. We skipped that this time since we are stopping for lunch. In preparation for the trip home, we have already packed the snacks in ziploc bags and they will be transferred to the boxes before we hit the road again. This eliminates the trip to the store to buy more car food because we ate it all in the condo.

Best of all, mommy does not have to work so hard. I might get to the vacation destination with some energy to actually enjoy it!

PS Thanks MD for the great idea!

Seven Together

Leffler - Lino cousins. July 2011

While their parents were on vacation, the three Leffler (Nathan's sister's family) cousins came to stay at Granny and Grandpa's house. We have had a wonderful week swimming, having sleep-overs, boy time, and just lots and lots of play time. The seven kids range in age from 10 on down to 2. Just last night, Grandpa was saying how wonderful it is to have all the grandkids. It is equally wonderful to have amazing grandparents. It is such a privilege to have Nathan's parents so close and willing to spend quality time with the kids. We are very blessed to have them.

Toads (7), String Bean (2), Girly Girl (5) & Samoosa (3)

Dramatic Side of Cousins

I did not make an even swap. I have the five female cousins while the two male cousins are at Granny and Grandpa's house. These four had a sleepover in the media room and much to my surprise, they were not up all night long. Now today has proven to be a little dramatic with lots of dress up clothes and games that are not equally 'fair' for the 2, 3, 5, 8 and 10 year olds. I think I can handle a little more drama just so the cousins can have some fun together. They don't get to see each other often enough, so it's worth it. My husband may beg to differ. He is currently outnumbered 6 to 1. Maybe that's why he was at the office so early this morning.

Restful Results

This is what happens when you have camp in the morning and VBS in the evening. It's only day three and they are wiped out. Everyone is looking forward to a great night tonight at VBS and praying for heart change in lots of little lives. So thankful for willing workers sharing the Gospel of Christ!

My Latest Trip

Linos & Byrds - 4 Cs and 4 Ks

A trip down memory lane can invoke many emotions. My latest trip took me to Corpus and back 30+ years. I have known Amanda since she was born (just a few months after me). We grew up together, spent holidays together, roomed together at A&M, stood next to each other at our weddings, had babies together, struggled through life together and so much more. While we were visiting this week, we looked through old pictures. How I wish they were digital so that I could post them here. Well, maybe not the incredibly out of style ones. But, it was so fun to see those pictures and remember all of the times we have shared over the years. Dance recitals, halloween, zoo trips, and baking cookies.

The Lord has been very gracious to us and allowed us to live close enough to each other so that we continue to make memories. We share a love for the Lord and are both deeply committed to our families. We never miss a beat in our relationship. We can not talk for a couple of weeks and still be so connected. Our short time together this week was rich in laughter and meaningful conversation, encouragement and fun. Such a blessing. It is a friendship I treasure and thank God for regularly.

In all of our imaginative play and dreaming as little girls, we never played out the current scenario......each of us married with four kids. The oldest is almost 8 and the youngest is 4 months. They too had a fabulous time this week playing and being silly friends.

This trip down memory lane invoked thankfulness and awe at the Lord's orchestration of the friendships in my life. It is one I hope I do not soon forget.

The Day I Wasn't So Sure About

Last Tuesday brought about a day that I had tossed and turned about........for a long time. It brought about mixed emotions. The two little girls started preschool at our church's Early Childhood Center. Samoosa attended last year, but this year String Bean would join her. All four kids are gone at the same time and I am by myself. The ECC is a fantastic ministry and all of our children have learned and grown so much while there. I wasn't worried about the program. I was very excited to have almost five hours to myself. I pretty much have the whole semester of free time already planned out of things that I must get done while my four little helpers are not with me. But I was sad. String Bean was just 15 months when she started. She still isn't walking and she is still very much the string bean of the bunch. I just didn't think it was best for her to be away at school already. The other three didn't start until they were two years old. I struggled with the decision for a long time and came close to changing my mind several times over the summer - after paying all of the registration fees. It came down to this...........I will be a better mommy and wife if I have some time alone on a regular basis. It's not that I don't love having everyone around. It's that I can't continually function at a high level of excellence in our home if I don't have some down time to regroup and re energize. I haven't fully figured out what regrouping looks like, but I know it includes working out, uninterrupted time with the Lord, some naps here and there, reading and running errands - quickly and quietly. There will be lunches out with girlfriends along the way while floors are drying and laundry is washing. It will be different for sure.

2395 days ago, my journey at this full-time job we call 'mommy' began. It is one that never stops and is by far the most rewarding. I know the Six Linos will thrive and enjoy life together even if I am a little sad that our baby is already in preschool. She did have a good first day with no tears and her big sister took good care of her while enjoying her first day as well.

String Bean ready to face the day!

Samoosa the pack mule - carrying her sister's napmat in addition to all of her own stuff.

Samoosa's class off to a good start - 9 boys and 4 girls!

Drastic Measures

I think my kids understand me a little better now. I have made myself more clear. Several weeks ago while Daddy was out of town, is when it happened. Over time we had become discouraged - actually down right irritated is a better word - with the level of care that our children use with their belongings. They are so rough on toys and things seem to break easily. I had been working hard to talk to them about how we use things the way they were meant to be used instead of using our creative minds to find new and destructive ways to play. Well, this particular day I guess I was already a bit high strung because when I saw another broken toy I put a stop to it. I told each of the kids they could have their blanket and pick one toy to keep. The others would all be gone when they woke up the next morning.

Of course when you say those things, you have to mean it or you will never be able to threaten any action again. Prior to bedtime, I had them remove all of the toys, games, etc from their rooms. I stayed up most of the night and cleaned out the play room. Some stuff went to the garbage can, some stuff went to Goodwill and the rest went to our closet and other hiding places throughout the house. It was exhausting but worth the effort. Here is what their playroom looked like when they woke up.

If you know our playroom, you know this is drastic. I left some books out for us to read to them on occasion, but otherwise they were on their own to be creative. The older threesome played hard together for the almost month that their toys were gone. They played chase and fun imagination games. They often wanted to be downstairs helping me do whatever I was doing, but I reminded them that this was their time to think about using things properly and learn to appreciate the things they have been given.

The toys that I saved returned to the playroom last week and it was like Christmas. They were so excited to see all of the things they had been missing and wanted so badly to use during playtime. I haven't found a broken toy yet. I can always remind them of this time without toys. It's good for them!

I Can't Believe It

It has been a year! So much has happened. Our youngest daughter, who we affectionately call String Bean, entered the world one year ago today at 3:43 pm. We had not planned on having four kids. I had very mixed emotions about the whole thing - the delivery, getting four kids age five and under dressed, the hospital (it was different from the other three), going anywhere with all four, having time to do anything, the recovery, my age, my life plans. It was all very overwhelming and continued to be many months after her arrival. But that day was so much fun! By the time you get to the fourth, unless there are suprises, you know the drill. We did and it was easy, exciting and so much fun to meet the precious gift that God had given us. She was perfect. I can look back on that day and know that God had it all planned out from the very beginning despite our plans and thoughts. I am so glad He knows what He is doing because our lives are so much better with String Bean.

A short clip of her first day.....

Happy Birthday String Bean!

For Two Reasons

This post is for two reasons only.......1) so relatives can see the boy at his kindergarten program and 2) so I can find this video ten years from now.

Relatives, enjoy......Toads' Kindergarten program from his last day of school. He is on the top row, in the middle and holds the letter 'O' in the alphabet song.

Everyone else, ignore.

Not Often Enough

We were able to spend some of our weekend with our sweet friends from college.....well, actually a little bit longer. Amanda is the only friend I have from birth that I keep up with and see on a regular basis. So many of my other friends from that long ago are the Facebook type friends now. Thirty four years later, we are both more than happily married and have seven kids between us.....four Cs and 3 Ks. Yes, the grandmothers have a hard time keeping them straight. I wish we could be together more often, but I am always blessed by the time the Lord does grant to us to spend time visiting and letting the kids play. We are the type of friends that time does not hinder. We pick up right where we left off the last time. There are few people in the world who mean as much to me as Amanda and her bunch.

Me and my four Cs (6, 4, 2 & 11 mos) with Amanda and her 3 Ks (6, 4 & 9mos)

The maternal grandmothers with the two youngest

String Bean (11 months) and KR (9 months)